Monday, November 12, 2012

The iPhone VS. Your Gym Membership

   My close friends know I am not a big fan of the iPhone... It's expensive, American's spend billions of dollars a year REPAIRING iPhones, not buying, or paying the ridicoulous monthly fees, repairing them! People that barely making ends meet in my country are socially forced into buying these phones because it's the "in" thing. Don't get me wrong, smart phones are cool and have a place in life, and some people can certainly afford them, but the fact that it's the norm and not acceptable now if you don't have one is kind of disturbing, personally I'm too busy paying my mortgage, educating myself, and traveling the world to different continents to afford an iPhone, but seeing as how people often cancel their gym membership in tough financial times while keeping their iPhone plan, let's pit the iPhone against The Iron Temple to see which is a better investment....
Initial Cost:
iPhone: $200 to $800 (the lower end of course being with a lawyer bound contract)
Gym: $150 sign up fee (if even, I personally have never paid a sign up fee, but some people do.)
Monthly Maintenance:
iPhone: $60 (this is being extremely generous... I really don't know anyone that pays that except employees or group plans)
Gym: $25
Repair Costs:
iPhone: $100 yearly, or walk around with the cracked screen (this is fairly common in Arizona where I live)
Gym: $0
Health Advantages and Long Term Savings:
iPhone: has personal training apps, and diet apps, I actually like these... it also has tons of other pure bullsh-t to waste your time and have you sit on the couch doing nothing. It is also is extremely annoying when you are waiting for a bench and you cant get one because some high school kid is texting or instagraming everyone on facebook that he's in the gym working out hard for the 4th time in his life. In this long term study by "The Street" accounting for investment losses, it is estimated the iPhone will cost you $17,670.
Gym: Will save you millions over a lifetime, correct, millions. The sky rocketing costs of medical care and prescription drugs are bankrupting the country and the health care system from self inflicted diseases, such as high blood pressure and obesity. Going to the gym 3-4 times a week significantly reduces your chances at these-EVEN IF YOUR WORKOUTS SUCK!
iPhone: it's no secret, an iPhonoe will get a text message long before your regular old cellular phone! iPhones may recieve the messages a whole minute earlier!!!
The Gym: While the iphone men and women get their text earlier while getting in line to go somewhere and wait, the gym men and women are already done, they run marathons, 5k's, sprint, swim, and climb stairs in the time it takes the iPhone user to figure out how to program the damn thing.
Social Advantages:
iPhone: Nowadays everyone has a mobile phone, so texting and calls are out for an advantage, however with the iphone you can google something, or see an email or social networking post long before the guy without the smart phone will see it.
Gym: Being in shape kicks checking an email early in the ass anyday! I'd much rather know I'll be able to walk up 10 flights of stairs when the elevator is out, or jog to get lunch when traffic is congested, or move furniture without having to ask buddy's for help, then knowing that I saw Kim Kardashian's twitter post early. On top of that, it sucks a bit, and it's not fair in life, but if two people with the exact same qualifications and background apply for the same exact job... who do you think gets hired when one is in great shape and the other is completely out of shape? Two exact personality guys want to date the same girl, one is in decent shape, one is completely out of shape, ladies, who do you date?
Style Advantages:
iPhone: along the side of social advantages, that flip phone or slide phone is stupid and old, so is the shock phone, or whatever piece of crap you have... now... the iphone, that's in style.
Gym: Lets think about this one, girl one comes up to you in the bar, her breath stinks, she's out of shape, she's stuttering her words, but has an iphone.... Girl two hits the gym all the time, she ditched the iphone to put the $60 month into almost 3 months of gym membership. She's lean with cuts, the right definition in her arms, slender legs, and a really tight glute area, on top of a really pretty face. Oh she, doesn't even have a cell phone, does anyone care?
Job advantages:
iPhone: with the iphone you will be able to stay in touch with your office... all the time.... No really,   all    the   time. You will get emails while you are at dinner with your family, account updates while you are on vacations, faxes in the middle of the night... Yeah, it's great.
Gym: Unless your co-workers work out with you, or you have a physical job, there is little to no advantages of being in the gym for your job, you will only get to workout in peace, get in better shape, feel better about your health, and enjoy your hour away from the office.
So.... if money is tight, it's your choice... The Gym? Or the iPhone?

This article is written for entertainment purposes. The views and opinion expressed in this article are that of the author, actual numbers may vary. Please consult your doctor or physician before starting any diet or fitness program.


  1. Whatever happened to heavy weights and malt liquor??

  2. I pay 30 a month with boost mobile...

  3. I believe that you could save more with Straight Talk BYOP (Bring your own phone) Program that all you have to get is a sim and you’re unlimited for a month for $45 dollars with these kinds of phones.

  4. I have them both, gym membership in Wantagh's world gym and iPhone. I can have more time in the gym with my iPhone :)