Monday, January 20, 2014

READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO QUIT THE GYM!


    As we enter into this New Year it is not even February yet and already the New Year's Resolutioners are leaving their gym memberships behind and driving towards the fast food drive thru's & back to the couches in front of their televisions. Who wants to work out? It takes too much time!!! Who wants to eat healthy? It takes too long and costs too much money!!! Who wants to get enough sleep, stop smoking, walk or bike, be fit? THE HELL WITH IT!!! But.... If we do decide to quit training, and eating good, lets take a quick look at what lies ahead. Here's some terms and costs you better damn well be familiar with if you want to stay out of shape and live a sedentary lifestyle:

G-tube: also known as a Gastrostomy Tube, when you can no longer eat by mouth, a G tube is inserted into your stomach for feeding by a bag. Cost: $12,000



Colostomy Bag: this is inserted into your colon, when you can't get up and ambulate. It's for when you can no longer take a sh*t! Cost: Up to $60,000

Sleep Apnea Mask: great investment if you want to keep smoking or are overweight to the point where it affects your respiratory system. Cost: $159.00



Foley Catheter: This is a tube, which by the way is very long, that is inserted into your penis or vagina, it is typically given to people who no longer can get out of bed. Your urine is collected in a bag that usually hangs on the side of your bed. Cost: $4.00

AICD Automated Internal Cardiac Defibrillator: An AICD is inserted inside of a patient when their heart can no longer adequately use it's own electrical current. It shocks the patient automatically similar to a Defib machine to keep the patient alive. Cost: $18,000 to $35,000

Pril, Pine, and Lol Drugs:These are your most popular blood pressure medications. Drugs ending in Pril are ace inhibitors, pine are calcium channel blockers, and lol endings are beta blockers. Cost: $47,500,000,000 nation wide

Tracheostomy: If you can't kick smoking this term is a real need to know, this is when a hole is cut to access your trachea to breath. As an additional bonus, you need to put your finger over it to speak. Cost: $10,000 to $150,000



BKA: A late necessary solution to diabetes, below the knees amputation. When circulation is no longer adequate and tissue is becoming necrotic, both legs are amputated below the knees for the safety of the patient. Cost: $30,000

Cardiac Stent: When a patients arteries are too narrow usually due to poor nutrition, stents are inserted to dilate the artery, making it wider for blood to flow. While it temporarily relieves pain, many patients relapse and will need additional stents due to not changing the lifestyle that got them the first stent. Cost: $30,000


Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Band AKA LAP BAND: A lap band is an invasive surgical operation that narrows the stomach so you don't eat as much. Cost: $14,000

Long Term Care Facilities: More commonly known as "Nursing Homes." First let me start by saying, the Doctors, Nurses, LPN's, CNA's, and supportive staff that work at care home are amongst the greatest human beings on this Earth. They do a job most people could not do, and take great care of people that are in need. But no matter how great the care home or how great the staff, a long term care facility is not going to be better than living your life the way you want, with your family, with you loved ones, and with you health in tact. Cost: $50,000 per year



    Some things in life will be unavoidable. No amount of training, or diet can prevent certain things. You may be t-boned by a drunk driver, you may get breast cancer or a congenital disease, or have a bucket of bricks fall on you. You may get old. There are somethings we just cannot control, but for the diseases that we can control and we can defeat, why would you not want to?

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This article is solely opinion of the author and written for entertainment purposes only.
Consult a doctor or medical professional before beginning any fitness, diet, or weight training program.

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